Hyperuricemia

OK,

It seems that I've got all the 'hypers'.

That'd be 'Hypertension', 'Hyperactivity', 'Hyperglycemia' (with the amount I've been eating recently), 'Hyperabduction Syndrome' (most mornings anyway) and the lesser known but fairly common 'Hyperuricemia' which I put down to my extreme and rapid weight gain. I had this a few years ago but haven't had any severe symptoms for a while. The annoying thing is that the medication I was offered to treat it would also more than likely kill my liver. Symptoms are usually worse in the morning when it takes me 15 mins to hobble to the toilet and another couple of hours to train myself to walk without visibly limping... and that's on a day when it isn't too bad. It gets a bit annoying with the crystals don't just form in my ankles but when they clump in my kidneys and try to battle their way through with all the force of John Gillan hitting a crazy golf ball (which is a fair amount of force).

I wish all I had was hypercondria, that'd be less complicated.