Personal Power - Day Four

Regardless of stature, only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.

DAY 4

No matter the trauma in your past every almost type of therapy can work ‘some’ of the time. There is no therapy that solves all problems all of the time.

Change the meaning of bad things that have happened to you.

Or with changing habits, stopping smoking doesn’t mean ‘giving something up’ as giving up is associated with pain. Think of all the good things that not smoking means.

People’s ability to make change often depends on their level of commitment to change.

NLP isn’t programming, it’s conditioning. People can go back on changes… it’s more like tuning a piano than programming a computer. A piano that hasn’t been tuned in years needs tuned over and over again until it needs done less often. There is rarely a quick-fix. Every day we need conditioned to feel and perform at our best.

To become fit you wouldn’t exercise once and decide that was you healthy for life. You need to do it over and over to keep yourself in good condition. The same applies for the most important part of us, our mind.

The key to interrupting a pattern is doing something that’s totally unexpected. You could be having a really involved conversation and somebody could disturb to ask you a question and then once they’re gone you want to get back to this conversation you were really committed to but you can’t remember what it was or where you were at in it.

Think of the mind like a great big jukebox with a zillion different records that you can play. If you play a sad record you’ll feel sad and a happy one you’ll be happy. Things that happen to us push the buttons of our jukebox and trigger the feelings associated with that record. What happens if that record is removed and is scratched to pieces and it can’t be played again? That pattern is interrupted.

Someone can come to you crying and feeling terrible and if you’re a nice person you’re going to give them sympathy and tell them it’s going to be ok and comfort them. The problem with this is that it doesn’t change their pattern. Sometimes you need to interrupt the persons pattern to not allow them to get back into it.

Three fundamentals:
1) In order to get a lasting change you need leverage, where you believe that something must change, you must be the one to change it and you can change it.
2) Change would mean pleasure…. Not just you ‘should’ change.
3) You need to condition yourself to have a new empowering association.
If you’re not doing something it’s because you associate more pain with doing it than not doing it.

Sometimes if we love somebody 100% and commit to them and they hurt us then that convert our ability to give 100% to somebody else. This association can be changed. If you don’t give 100% then that person will feel unloved and not give 100% then you’ll feel unloved and a vicious circle will happen and then the next relationship will be even worse… more and more pain. What happens if you do commit 100%? Pleasure. What about fear of the person not committing back? Interrupt the pattern. Take driving on a narrow winding two-lane road? Even if you are committed to driving on your side of the road there is no guarantee that the people driving in the other direction are going to be as committed to driving on their side and you ‘could’ collide or be killed at any point… but does that mean you should never drive down the road and stick to your side of the road? No. Sometimes we’ve just got to trust other people because if you couldn’t drive along the road then you might be trapped. The same applies to the relationship. You can’t have what you want if you don’t trust and commit. The best way to receive love is to give love. We need to remember this association.

Interrupt fear patters, sabotage patters etc.

ASSIGNMENT

Take the three patterns of behaviour from day three that have caused pain and write down ten reasons for each of the three why you must change them now both pain from not doing it and pleasure from doing it.

Write down four or five ways you could interrupt your own patterns. Ie Go out for lunch with someone and only have a small sandwich. You’ll see lunch can still be pleasurable. Or, next time you’re in an argument do something silly and it’ll interrupt your own pattern and everyone elses. Ever forgotten what you’re arguing about but still knew you had to win?

Condition yourself until you have a new association.

I’ve done this assignment but am not going to bother you with the details ;-)