The Diet

Well folks, here is the diet update (as requested by dr-dyb...

Week 1: Lost 6 pounds
Week 2: Lost 1 1/2 pounds
Week 3: Lost 2 1/2 pounds
Week 4: Gained 6 pounds

Argh!!! How did that happen?!?!?!?

Actually, it happened in a couple of days. I was at a wedding and then on Sunday I just had a really really piggy day.

Let's see what did I eat? I skipped breakfast which I know is a really bad thing to do. Lunch was going fine. I had roast beef, yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes, carrots, broccoli, gravy and horseradish sauce. I was satisfied, there was no need to eat anything else and then I saw dessert. Not being able to make my mind up I had a big big of chcolate gateau with some toffee honeycomb crunch ice cream and a slice of arctic roll. A few hours later I had some cheese on toast. At night we went out to 'Bisque' or 'Kings Bar' as we still call it. I wasn't hungry there was no need to eat but for some reason I had fish and chips and garlic bread with cheese and bread & butter. When I got in I then had four slices of toast and a family bag of cheese tasters (M&S wotsits). In all honesty, I've had far worse eating days but that alone explains my sudden weight gain.

The good news is I'm now top of the list at an eating disorders clinic which is part of a psychiatric hospital... that really shows what a case I am!

Maybe I'm a compulsive over-eater because of some childhood trauma? Well, not that I'd post about that here.

In a totally unrelated note, aside from eating too much I'd had a really lovely day on Sunday (hmmmm, is that 'why' I had a really lovely day, no... I'd have had a lovely day without food) but for some reason last night I had a bit of a wobble and got far too emotional and locked myself away for the evening do quietly sob to myself whilst listening to Evanescence and Radiohead. The good thing is that that's me done with emotion for another few months so I can just begin to store it all up for next time. I feel that that's a far more efficient way of releasing emotion. The cause was all to do with self-doubt and for some reason my self-worth took a huge nosedive last night. It's picked back up a wee bit today but not before I decided I wanted to stop doing everything I do at church to help and come off of every committee because the way I saw it last night if you don't do anything you can't be criticised for not doing it properly so there's less hurt in doing nothing.

Although I know I can get comfort through Christ and through my friends and it doesn't need to be through pizza, crisps, cheese, cake, biscuits, chocolate, chips, burgers, garlic bread etc.... damn, just made myself hungry.

I really should update this blog thing more often so that I can disgrace myself and lose all my street-cred by pouring out my emotions.