Happy Birthday Arlene!

Well, today started at the beginning and then proceeded to go towards where it is now. But as nothing interesting has happened I'll just do a quick recap.

Where is my breadmaker? It still hasn't arrived yet and neither has my digital camera. The memory card arrived today but that's not much use on its own. Sainsburys are bringing a shop today... well... not a whole shop... more the selection of products I've requested they bring 'from' the shop and among those ingredients are various bags of flour, yeast and different types of seed to put in my bread. Maybe I'll get more adventurous once I've made a few loafs.

Went to church last night even although I couldn't be bothered and it was cold and wet because it was Donald speaking about Evangelism (that's not the reason it was cold and wet, it's why I decided to go). Ian told me that Wee Ali wasn't well and had to go into hospital which is a shame. Ali is lovely so we'll be praying for her and sending her get well vibes via the internet. We'd still probably pray for her if she wasn't lovely, just not so hard probably.

Elizabeth was at church!!! Now, that might not be significant but she was due to have her baby yesterday so should have either been getting on with it or at the very least sitting at home resting in front of Desperate Housewives or something.

Donald read a passage from Ezekiel and I started to giggle. I really couldn't help myself. When you've got to laugh, you've got to laugh. Of course, sitting in the front row didn't help divert attention away from me. Donald even told the congregation that it must be because I'd heard him refer to that passage repeatedly as one of his favourites but he surely knows it's because I'm childish and was thinking of my favourites verses. Ezekiel 23:19-20.

When I got in Lizzie was totally bladdered. She'd had at least a couple of bottles of wine, possibly more. She did the same while I was out at church on Sunday. You know someone's drunk when:

a) They ask you for toast which they then keep dropping on the floor but then pick up and eat, with cat hairs all over it.
b) They turn the cooker on and start trying to cook when they don't normally cook when they're sober... possibly fire hazard that one.
c) They stagger all over the place and keep falling over. I remember the time I had to take Lizzie to hospital after she walked into a door whilst drunk. I'm sure they didn't believe that she'd walked into a door!
d) They start accusing people on the TV of stealing their cigarette papers and then start an argument with the TV that they then lose.
e) They burn their nose and burn of their eyelashes/eyebrows because they haven't a clue what they're doing with their lighter.

After passing out on the sofa she woke up at 5am looking for codeine and claimed (again) that she was never going to drink again because her head hurt... oh, that's another thing I forgot to mention... rain was pouring in my window last night! That's not normal is it?!?!?1? I need to phone someone to come and fix it. I must mention that the window was properly closed at the time. It was really windy and pouring rain outside... but part of the purpose of windows is to keep the rain outside! I don't mean a bit of a drip... I mean pouring. I went to bed and was lying there and thought 'why do I hear running water?' and got up to investigate. Water was cascading down the wall underneath the window as if it was Niagra Falls. The carpet (and all the junk on the floor) was soaking. I looked at the window and moved the blinds and that caused the huge reservoir on the windowsill to also cascade... well, it was much like a Tsunami actually! Seriously, there was a LOT of rain in my bedroom... and no, I didn't wet the bed!

Where is my breadmaker?!?!?